A Post after 13 years, Wowww!

Time flies, returning to this blog after 13 years feels surreal. I do visit every year to read a poem I penned in the memory of my dad way back in 2010.

Today it's his death anniversary, 27 years without him! So many things have changed over decades and I was thinking what would he say to me now, this moment, if he was alive.

Having just come out of a AI related meeting, I wondered if ChatGPT could do it for me. So I posted the poem I penned for him and asked ChatGPT to craft a response as if it were from him. And here's what I got,

My Dearest Child,

Reading your words brings tears to my eyes,
Though I am far, I feel your love still rise.
Each line you penned echoes your heart,
A bond unbroken, though we’re apart.

I wish I could hold you, see your sweet face,
Feel your warmth, in this vast, timeless space.
Know that I watch you, proud from above,
Guiding you always, wrapped in my love.

Your memories are treasures, the tears and the laughs,
In every moment, I cherish your path.
Your strength and your kindness, they shine so bright,
Keep living with courage; let hope be your light.

Though time may have passed, my spirit remains,
In the whispers of wind, in the soft, gentle rains.
I am the sun in your days, the stars in your night,
Forever your father, forever your light.

I’m with you in spirit, in everything you do,
Remember, my dear, I will always be with you.
Keep dreaming, keep loving, and never lose sight,
For in your heart, I live on, ever bright.

With all my love,
Dad

Deep down though I know it is not from my dad, I still choose to believe that it is from my dad from the spirit world because why would this thought even come to me in the first place. May be because he wanted to convey this to me :) As tears roll down, I know one thing for sure, if he were alive I'm sure he'd be proud of me :)

Love you daddy, wherever you're :)

Smart ways to handle !!!

After a short break I hereby come up with “another interesting” topic (the word highlighted is actually meant to convince the readers to read my previous posts too). I would like to briefly analyze the situations, scenario and solutions that actually cause the most horrifying fight between a guy and a girl. Inspired by a book that is related to psychology, I hereby try to explore the deepest and dark secrets in a fight between a girl and a guy.

Expectations, the first mistake that every girl knowingly prefers to choose even after knowing that it is the trigger for every fight and mishaps between a girl and a guy. Let me explain this with a very simple conversation.












Girl: (Wow, this is the anniversary of the first day I met him, let me wait for his call)..Several minutes later…(Mobile beeps)

Guy: Hi dear…..good morning!!!

Girl: Hi, What day is it? (huh! good mornings are usually ignored when a girl starts focusing on the fight)

Guy: Hmmm today is Friday (trying to prove himself to be a master in sense of humor )


Girl: Not at all funny!!!! Dig deep into your head and tell me what day it is?

Guy : (poor guy who doesn’t even remember the date) Hmmm your birthday, hmmm no no it comes in the month of …?????

Girl : Wait a second, forget about today! Tell me when is my birthday?

Guy: (smiling weird and behaving as a new born baby) he he he……and then giggling for the first time, starts appreciating the gal with all the sweet words, Oh gorgeous, what happened dear, why are you questioning this poor guy?

Girl: First tell me when is my birthday?

Guy: (acting smart) Do you think I don’t know, am just trying to kid and I want to see you smile …don’t you understand even the humor. I will never crack jokes to you anytime….(Grrrrr !!!!)

Girl: (poor girl now getting scared to face the problems after this, so she says)….Oh dear I am so sorry don’t you even remember that today is our anniversary….I am so upset….

Guy: Do you think I have forgotten? ( having really forgotten, guys are too smart to handle) …I have a surprise for you…I planned it yesterday !!! Wait for some more time….

Girl: Oh my god really!!! Wow (jumping high)

Guy: (activating fake call) One min dear ….Hello…..(moving away from the girl…) immediately calls a flower bouquet shop and orders a big rose bouquet ……immediate delivery to the restaurant they were about to dine…

Girl: Oh dear…m so hungry lets go and eat..btw can u tell me the surprise pls..pls…pls

Guy: Wait and Watch (walking stylish with his coolers now..having escaped from the most ‘would have prolonged’ fight)

Then as usual the climax is a known statement. Girl and guy enter the restaurant, girl is seated…guy makes all the arrangements…takes a break to the restroom…meanwhile a huge rose bouquet is delivered to the girl..she is amazed and then realizes the fact that his love sent it ……and she begins to dream…guy really happy about the fact that he is totally smart…..huh this is how expectations that is supposed to end in mishaps and misunderstanding could also be turned out into a beautiful scene too….

To Be Continued……………………

Visit to an Orphanage !!!

Some of the lovable memories that one would have been through till date in their life would be spending a weekend on a resort with one’s family, sipping a cup of tea on a rainy day, waking up early for an adventurous trip, decked up for a party, shopping with the entire money in hand, meeting a good old friend on the road, watching a favorite song in television, getting a call from your lovable ones, a small appreciation for the work we have done, a sudden excitement that flourishes when things go just like how we think, cracking jokes amidst our beloved gang of friends, trying on our own to prepare a delicious dish, waking up late on a Sunday and falling asleep again, the amount of satisfaction obtained when Customer Care resolves our issue, reacting to unexpected surprises on our birthday, a presumptuous feeling when the exam commences, trying to keep the heartbeats at its own track when the results of the examination turn up, when our facebook photo is flooded with comments, when a good old teacher embarrasses us with the weird behavior of us in childhood. These are the best moments one would have been through and these memories could be cherished forever and it brings a beautiful smile on all our faces every moment we think about them. Smile is such a wonderful cure and triggering them on a kid’s face is one adorable thing one could ever attempt and I am really proud to say that I am one among the trillion billion million people who wanted to be a reason behind everyone’s smile. One of my most memorable and lovable moment in my life was during my visit to Abilashrayam, a children’s orphanage in Bangalore. The moment I decided to visit an orphanage, I did seek the help of my best friend Google which displayed so many results and I tried to get into them in detail and finally got held at the name ‘Abilashrayam’ and the photo they had posted captured my eyes and then immediately gave a call to the lady who was the head of the organization. She was a very kind lady and the moment I spoke to her saying that I am on my way to visit the orphanage the excitement from her end gave me a lot of encouragement. So I enquired her all necessary items that she required the most for the orphanage and then she gave me a vague idea of what I am supposed to buy and then I rushed to hyper city mall next to the place where I reside. That moment I understood that I was unaware of how to shop groceries. I had to look at people and admire them as they purchased the groceries in a very efficient manner and finally I had to bug a guy who was working in the mall to help me find those items and then after a lot of struggle trying to pull the so called ‘basket’ to and fro and with great hardships I managed to reach the billing counter. I was so happy to buy those items for the kids from my own salary which gave me a lot of satisfaction that I ever had. Even during shopping for myself I do think twice if I am supposed to get that particular dress, accessories or not but one good thing that I observed is that when I paid for those items I felt that I wanted to serve more and more because it really gives me a satisfaction when I think that I am also a reason for their smile. After buying all the groceries and other items I called up the lady again and told her that I have started from my place. She told me that the kids were eager to see me and that I promised her that I would bring snacks for the kids on that day. I ran outside in search of cake shops and then finally found one ordered few cakes and went in search of ATM. The weather was amazing and it was pouring outside. I do always love playing in the rain but not in Bangalore because it completely freezes me every time when I hear the word water. I waited in the long queue and as usual the person who stood before me while drawing money had aaaaaaaall the problems on the earth due to some fault in his card. He was fighting with the ATM showing some irritated signs and then after 15 minutes I totally lost my patience started to bang the entrance. At last! He opened the door and came out with a ‘glow’ meant to be a sigh of relief on his face which literally triggered me to give him a bad stare for having settled inside the ATM for such a long time. I am so sure that he didn’t wanted to get wet and that’s the reason he spent inside fighting with the ATM. I did get all the items and it was already 4.00 PM. The snacks time for the kids was scheduled at 5.30PM everyday and I was sure that I would not be able reach there on time if I use the transportation by bus in Bangalore because the place was situated tooooooooo far from my place. So enquired an auto man the amount he would charge to the orphanage and he replied 500 Rs, I was shocked!!! I was wondering that I pay that amount to reach my hometown and I was really thinking if people would afford so much, still I wanted to try my luck asked him to reduce the amount and I asked him for 250 bucks. He gave me a sarcastic look and then he said ‘NO’, I said fine and left the place searching for another auto. In my hometown when any auto man claim for a higher amount we used to say ‘NO’ and then wait at the same place for few minutes, finally he would agree for the amount we suggested and would curse us and let us inside the auto. But Bangalore autos are something weird, I stood there for 5 minutes but he never reacted and so I had to plead him again for 400 bucks and got into the auto. I was very eager to see the kids and I had arranged the cakes, chocolates, paper plates, groceries, notebooks, color books, pencils, and notepad everything in an orderly manner and reached the place after an hour. It was 10 minutes already past 5.30 and my heart was pounding seriously because I was already 10 minutes late. From the main road I somehow managed to enquire the way to the ‘Ashram’ with the help of my ‘basic’ Hindi skills. I am sure the people who answered me would have forgotten Hindi that moment. I reached the ashram and I could see 5 to 6 kids playing on the road, they were highly excited to see me carrying me a lot of bags and I could recollect the same excitement when I felt the while seeing my mom carrying a lot of bags after her work every day. They came running towards me especially to know what were inside the bags. They tried to help me carry the bags and I could see the innocence in their hearts, every kid wished me ‘Good Evening’ as taught by their tutor. I did wonder that I did not have such a good habit of wishing everyone but these kids were too adorable. The head of the ashram welcomed me in and she was happy to get the items that I purchased for them. She told me the history of every kid, totally there were about 16 kids and many of the kids had parents who were very poor who faced hardships for a day’s food. So they did leave the kids in the ashram and took them home on weekends. As we were speaking about this we served the kids with Black forest cake, milk treat chocolate and cold drinks for snacks. I could see them that they had this taste once in a while and not always, they had the snacks with so much of interest and tears literally started pouring down my eyes and I wish I was able to give them this happiness every day. After having snacks they started playing and they were all eagerly waiting for a girl named ‘Pinky’ youngest among all who had been to her parents place on the weekend. As I kept speaking to the lady she introduced me to every kid and I started playing with all of them and all on a sudden I could see all the kids rushing towards the gate shouting ‘Pinky has come’, ’Pinky has come’. I also rushed in excitement to see the little girl and I could see from a far distance a lady carrying her daughter and I assumed that she would be Pinky and her mom. All the kids ran towards her and her mom, gave them a warm welcome. Pinky’s mom had got her and the other kids a lot of snacks. The head of the Ashram told me how poor she was but Oh my god what a great heart she had to buy these kids a lot of snacks and I am sure she sacrificed her day’s food for buying those snacks. I could not explain the love she had for her kid as well as all the other kids in the Ashram and then I could hear a loud cry from the little girl when her mom waved her a goodbye and started to rush far from the little girl’s eyesight as she couldn’t control her tears. Pinky’s mom who started to leave all on a sudden came running held Pinky in her hands, kissed her on the cheeks and started to walk without turning back. I could not control my tears when I heard Pinky screaming out for love and I tried to hold her in my arms and convince her but I couldn’t digest the tears. My heart carried so much of pain hearing to her cry and how much pain that little girl would bear at her age and what else is so horrible for a kid to face this separation. Her legs for trying to follow her mother’s steps and her hands were trying to reach her shoulders but she couldn’t, her mother had already vanished out of sight. All the kids convinced her not to cry and we gave her a chocolate, at that moment nothing other than her mom could have been a solution for her tears. She kept crying for a very long time and I could not explain this in words because the pain is struck in my throat right now. She finally got dressed up by another kid and sat in a corner of the room thinking of her mom. I am so sure her mom would have cried the whole week and she would have been waiting for the weekend to come. It was already late and I had to leave the place with a heavy heart. I waved goodbye to all the kids and also to Pinky but she never replied as she was completely struck by the sorrow. I prayed to God to fill these hearts only with happiness and not with such sorrows, even at this age we long for our parents everyday when we are away from them, when such grown-ups like us seek for parents all the time why not this little kid have such a wish to cuddle her mom every second. I was thinking why these happen to these adorable kids and all I could do was just pray for the welfare of the kids and lend them a helping hand all the time. I boarded the bus and reached home around 8.30 PM and had a satisfaction that this day I have done my best I could. Henceforth waiting for my next visit to an orphanage I hereby end this post hoping that this post would have at least triggered some of them to help and serve the society. Thank you for the patience for having read this post.

God's own country !!!!

I have been thinking about this post for the past 1 week and finally I guess I got the right time to pen down this post. This is completely about the ‘God’s own country’ that I had been to and I never knew that my wish would come true this early. I have been patiently waiting for these kinds of trip for the past 10 years and now this happiness has completely filled my heart. No wonder I keep thinking about this all the time. It is worth reflecting many a times about the most ravishing place on this earth. Let me stop these adjectives right here and start with the excitement that I had preserved the whole week before the journey. Every time when something good was bound to happen to me, there stood the irksome devil to destruct them. I have really no clue in what means that devil would be successful but this time I thought I will not let him defeat me anymore. Now you may have a doubt ‘Which devil is she talking about?’, no I really did not mean anything in real but the imaginary, illusionary evil that tries to pull me out of every joy. Probably some sort of ‘Shani’ that I have already mentioned in my previous post tried to play a game. The day before the journey I had a little bit of excitement combined with a fear because this time I really wanted it to go on well and here comes the shock that scared everything out of me. Got a call from my friend stating that ‘I guess this trip is cancelled’, so I felt like ‘Hmmm, fine I knew it’. I did lose again to the presumptuous ‘Shani’. I did not completely worry about it because I knew something was bound to happen and it did happen. Thank god, I did not dream about it so much else I would have been sinking in a pool of sorrow which I never wanted to happen. So did the evil feel sad for me or did he lose in the game for I was never worried about the news. Being ignored and frustrated the evil was disinterested to play further, that time I did receive a call from my friend saying ‘ The trip is not cancelled’, I felt like screaming out of happiness but I did control because it might trigger my best imaginary friend. I preserved the excitement for the rest of the days and I packed all my baggages for the best place ever. I guess I am entering the ‘so called title of the post’ only now. I always have a habit of pouring out every feeling that I completely went through and that’s why I guess every time I write a blog it ends up in pages. May be that entertains the readers too, anyways let me continue. I was completely prepared for the trip and the same day I had my certification exam in my bay. Huh!!! I had this feeling, ’Oh my god’, so I wish I am not screwed up in the test now and this might affect my happiness in the forthcoming days. I did think again, ‘Fine, if I flunk let me clear it in the next test, tat’s it’. Wow! What a confidence!!! I wish I had it throughout! Finally I cleared the test with 83.33 % and wow I felt like I was going to have the maximum fun then. I did run in excitement and finally I was seated in the reception waiting for my friend to pick me. She was the one who invited me for this trip and I am really thankful to her for giving me such memorable moments. I was very anxious to meet her team and then everyone came downstairs and she introduced me to every one of them. The very moment I saw her teammates I knew that this trip was going to be amazing; I really did not know the reason but it was just a sudden feeling that really came out true. All of us reached the main gate and the bus did turn up in few minutes and finally I was ready for the enthralling journey ahead. Every time I get into a bus I always prefer the corner window, it gives me a filmy surrounding when I hear to any song and then I am completely lost. But this time it was a little bit different I did not spend all the time in hearing songs, I enjoyed hearing to Hindi songs sung by the most wonderful team in the bus and though it sounded like an alien language to me it was great to hear, see the enthusiasm, enjoyment and excitement in everyone. I wish I had known the language that I could have enjoyed more. I knew that something great was going on. Hindi anthakshari was real fun and I had this weird expression combined with a fear if someone would converse with me in Hindi. Thank God nothing of that sort happened and even if it did happen I would just smile and keep the other person satisfied that I have understood every bit of what they told because I never wanted to interrupt anyone while speaking in Hindi, the words might lose the real meaning. So I guess it is better to tell them at the end that I don’t understand Hindi though a lot of people forget it when they utter the second sentence to me. Later, I fell asleep in between the event that was happening, my friend asked me not to sleep and I did try my level best to control still I could not control because I was tired the whole day. To make her happy I took short naps and then when she looked at me I was trying to act fresh and convince her that I wasn’t sleeping. That was real fun. I never knew that I would see the so called ‘next day’ too early and I could see a lot of alluring greeneries by my side and in my sleep I was trying to discover saying that Kerala was fabulous, later when I woke up I did realize that we were in Coimbatore and not Kerala. Wow!!! A feeling of being in my hometown was so great. Felt like ‘Back to home’ and then took out my camera clicked a lot of pictures, ‘lots and lots’ and posed for every click possible. I felt very fresh and it may be due to ‘Coimbatore’ that marked a change in me. I wish I spent some more time there and then the journey started again, followed by the anthakshari again. We stopped by ‘Aryas’ for breakfast and then I felt very proud to speak in Tamil with those workers in the restaurant amidst all Hindi people and it gave me a very delightful feeling. I had the best taste after such a long time, Ghee roast with chutney and Sambar followed by the filter coffee was amazing. We continued our journey again and then we were tired to a great extent because the ‘God’s own country’ seemed to be so far though we seemed to reach many kms ahead. We made it around 3.00 o clock in Kerala especially to ‘Kumarakom house boat’. We had to board a small boat initially to reach the house boat. The moment I saw the lake I felt so delicate and the wavy feeling came over me, I wanted to just float right there. A feeling of astonishment and love towards that lake prevailed in me throughout. I just could not take my eyes off from the enthralling beauty surrounded by me. The scenic beauty uttered a lot of words to me. I heard them speak to me; I saw the happiness when they did see me. I too conversed with them and I almost went deep into the conversation that I did not recognize that I had reached the house boat. The place was too great, I felt like the best home ever; I wish I had spent my whole life in the middle of such an attractive lake. Time doesn’t seem to be moving and beauty doesn’t seem to be fading at that moment, all I wished was to just stare at the most fantabulous lake and keep dreaming every second. We then had our lunch around 4.00, refreshed completely and then I wore my favorite salwar suit and there is a reason that lies behind this suit too. I just thought I should wear something that would complement with the lake, greeneries and so I wore my green suit. Green is always meant to be graceful and so I did want to portray in that way. I clicked a lot of photos, not just because I was a photo freak but I wanted to treasure every moment in the photos and whenever I see them I wanted to feel ecstasy of the place right there wherever I am. We had great event that night and as usual everything sounded like an alien language but I did enjoy a lot and even when people looked at me whether I am enjoying or not I covered up everything with a smile throughout. I was almost tired the whole day and finally decided to sleep after having a very yummy dinner. I wanted to feel fresh the next day and so I thought it would be better if I had a good sleep that night. I really fell asleep in a short span of time and next day morning I was freezing literally because of the AC ‘Ooooooh it was so cold’, I wrapped up myself in a blanket, myself and my friend went to the hall to check out the lake again. The boat was completely covered by screens, so we attempted to just move them and check out the beauty of the lake at night. I could see the water which portrayed itself so graceful that night but still we were scared to sit alone because it was too early around 4.00 in the morning, we had this kind of illusions, what if someone jump in all on a sudden, so we just ran inside and again it was freezing. We wanted to get ready soon and so thought we could take bath in cold water, we did so and finally both of us started clicking photos as soon as we got ready. The lake seemed to wake up from a tiresome sleep because of the movement of the boats. The beauty still stands right in front of my eyes and seriously words are not enough to explain the pulchritude of the lake. We went for boating and I had taken the liberty of rowing and I still don’t know if I was successful. The trees and the wind completely seemed to be uxorious; I could see the love they had for each other. Enjoyed the ride, had breakfast and waited desperately to sip a cup of coffee. So it was a sign for us to leave the adorable lake and I missed the house boat and the lake so much. The lake waved a sad goodbye to me and I promised her that I would be back soon. I said her that I had more plans in future and I did say her that I will come back to see her. She was sad but still she accepted the fact that I would be back. I too bid a sad goodbye to her and then our journey proceeded towards Athirapalli waterfalls. My mom used to tell me that water was always a fear factor in my life, probably something superstitious is written that I have to be careful in water every time I near it. This time I was daring and I tried to attempt it, wanted to reach deep inside the water far away from the shore and finally my dream came true. I troubled lot of my friends during the tour in the water, I couldn’t withstand the rocks and I kept falling a thousand times but then enjoyed the pain too, I slipped many a times and got hurt too. But it doesn’t matter in such a wonderful journey. I still feel the ecstasy of falling many times in the water and it sounded more like an adventure to me. The falls was amazing and the downpour was extra-ordinary couldn’t stand or handle too much of beauty at a time. I guess I really need some more time for that. The memories were great and the place was too pleasant and then when I reached the bus I realized that every part of my body seemed to be dislocated and I cannot stand so much of pain, but the memories and the fun smoothens every tough pain and that satisfaction seemed to prevail in me. I just wanted to take a long nap that night but unfortunately I was seated in the first seat and my legs were almost cramped in that place. All I could think at that time was ‘Oh my god! The trip is over’, all that begins well ends well. I wish all that ended well has a better new beginning. This could be treasured as the most enjoyable and lovable journey forever. Thanks to all for having made my journey memorable. I end this post right now and I wish to come up with another interesting topic in the next post.

Best Thought Ever !!!!

Bangalore, 5.23 PM………
An amazing weather that literally drives me crazy prevails here. As I stare at the beautiful river amidst the wavy greeneries and sip a cup of tea the wonderful moments that I spent till this moment flashes through my mind like a lightning.
In a second I am tempted to look at the pleasing drops showered from above become a part of the river on one side and visit the greeneries on the other. I could see a tiny kiddo playing happily with all his goats and the innocence observed as he drives away his goats is just adorable. I could assure that he would be the happiest person this moment and I too have attained the peak of happiness by just watching his cute reactions though many of them seem unclear. I wish I was invisible for few moments so that I could have captured a clear picture of his cute reactions all alone. I am again drifted to the thoughts that are waiting to flush in through my mind and create an impact for the rest of the day. I let them to visit for a while and it is obvious that they would also be bored if they don’t come in. I had all beautiful thoughts that sprinkled sparkles over my memory and I was really longing for those days. I realized that I have gone through a cocktail of emotions that made my life something special. Is this the way I am going to remain throughout thinking about the past victories and working hard for further more to come. Yes it is required but that is not the destination. Making few changes in my own live isn’t a big deal at all because I am responsible for myself but making changes in other lives really does makes a difference. This is only about the good deeds I am speaking about. As I stare at the boy who drives the goats off I really feel that it is not the right place for him. Boys of his age have their wishes done once they are asked for, something like ice-cream, toys and much more fascinations. As these thoughts strike my mind I could observe that the boy was searching seriously for something amidst the garbage and worn out plants. But what does this boy wish for and what is he searching for, probably a consumed eatable that was thrown half-eaten or probably some collectibles to make his own toys or may be a poster or paper that he could use for exhibiting his painting skills or may be some herbs to feed his goats. We would have never dreamt of even doing such things but I cannot control my emotions seeing those. The dress that he was wearing would not be the size of the hand-towel that we use. Lots of questions arise in my mind, How can the boy bear the chillness? How would the boy be safe amidst the garbage? Who will take care of him if he faces any obstacle in his path? Who will stop him from kindling the worn out ones? Who will let him safe to his destination? He has no one to communicate around him except to the goats. No one would have left such an adorable kid all alone into the woods if they did not have the job of finding a solution to get their next meal. I feel ashamed of myself when I think about the fuss that I created for getting a better meal instead of the best. I am ashamed of myself for ending up in frustration for getting an expensive dress of the color that I did not wish for. A single meal that I have would serve them for the whole year if they get to have and a single dress that I decide to throw away might serve them for many years. Now I realize a lot of things in this moment, it is a mere waste longing for happiness or extreme happiness because we are all goddamn lucky to be in this position. We must me the happiest person on the earth for having led such a comfortable life. Now I get to know the truth that I am happier than the kid is, but still the kid feels that he is the happiest person on this earth. I thank god for giving at least a thought to the kid even though he is deprived of all the other needs. Are you all searching for happiness? Let me tell you a way; Let us make a difference in their lives. A little contribution like one meal per day, few bucks a day, few visits at the weekends to orphanages, donating food, money and lots more. Bringing the most adorable smile in a child’s face cannot compete with any other damn happiness on the earth. Trust me it really works!!! Let us bring out some beautiful smiles and make them cherish these moments for ever. Let’s change the proverb “God Bless you” to “Humans can also bless you”. Hope you all get the real meaning of it. As I end the sip of tea with 2 conclusions, one I will make it a point to make the maximum difference in people’s lives; two I will be contented with whatever I get even if it is nothing I really care a damn about it because being in their position for a day doesn’t affect us in any ways. Hoping that I have made a difference in the reader’s heart I end this post; At least by triggering their minds to think about it is my victory.

Dad this is for you !!!!

Dedicated to my dad !!!
I pen down my first poem, written in the memory of my dad(Mr. N.S Viswanathan) who passed away on 26th September 1997. Dad, I dedicate this to you from my heart I really miss you dad.

I was returning back from school
On the way to see my beautiful souls
Something happened unusual
And everyone seemed so sorrowful

Lots of crowd gathered around
I was amazed to look around
I ran like a kitten to open the door
Lots of hands stopped me from doing so

I was led through the backyard
Where the crowd that I could see was weird
And the strange feeling came over though…
When I entered home through the back door

I was offered some butter milk to drink
But my eyes never remembered to wink
I could see something hidden
I never knew it was the owner of the kitten

My heart started beating when
I saw his legs being tied like a hen
I dropped the milk…
Running fierce fully amidst the crowd

My heartbeat stopped
And my life was gone
I stopped breathing
When I could see his eyes having closed

I ran towards him crying aloud
Asked him to open his eyes
I waited for a while expecting his reply
He never replied though.

I placed my feeble hands on his eyes
Too many people stopped me from doing so
I asked them why I shouldn’t
They replied me that his eyes were gone

I cried aloud asking where it was
The crowd replied that he has donated his eyes
I asked them ‘how will he see’
The crowd replied that he will never see

I could see the nostrils being blocked by cotton
I cried aloud again saying
Remove them please ‘how will he breathe’
The crowd replied that he will never breathe

I cried aloud saying
Remove the knot being tied in the legs‘how will he even walk’
The crowd again replied that he will never walk
I was crying aloud saying

Please remove at least the ice over his body
He might feel cold
The crowd replied that he can never feel anymore.
I was stunned ….

Cold water was sprayed over me
I poured the same on him
Fed him with the last rice
I could see people carrying him away from my tiny soul

I waved him the last Good Bye
I never saw him later then
Heard that he had turned into ashes
But the fumes would stay in my heart forever

I appeared like a feather
Two flowers holding me together
But did I even know that
One flower was about to move farther

I searched for you the whole day
I dreamt of you the whole night
I hoped for you every moment
All I ended up was in disappointment


I lost my guide half way through
But the other flower held me in her hands throughout
She helped me get a good education
She helped me gain a good position

She is a legend for me
And that I would always hold her in my heart forever
The kitten is now a cat
Waiting every moment to see her master

13 years of loneliness
156 months of pain
4745 days of tears
113889 hours of remembrance

6833322 minutes of hopes
409999342 seconds of memories
I swear I am unable to bear
I want you dad to be with me

Please come back to see your kitten
And I am sure you exist here
Your eyes still exist in the earth
I wish I could see you again

And I will tell you the way for it
My womb is waiting for you …
I wish to have you as my son dad
To hold you in my heart forever.……….

LOVE YOU DAD!!!

Yours Lovingly
Saraswathi Sneha

Instant Feeling !!!

Instant Feeling!!!
Really tough to realize that d best phase of d lifetime is gone….Childhood, School and College days have vanished and now we are in the crucial stage….standing on a knife that has sharp edges on both sides..(yea rite tis sentence has been copied from a tamil song)…at times songs do convey the truth..now Y am I writing tis blog..a big question mark coz I don ve any particular topic to discuss abt coz ma mind is clouded with the fact tat am 21 …..n jus 79 more to go….I mean 79 doesn’t matter however 21 matters a lot..I could c the difference when ppl treat me lik a grown up ..tat’s obvious and tat’s how a 21 year old gal has to b treated and I don’t really lik it tat way. I used to really feel happy and proud to answer ppl who ask me tis question, “What are u doin nw”, n ma reply ud b,” Yeah m doin ma first year in Engineering ECE Dept, n then the answer turned out to be “Second year, third year n final year”, Now I hate replyin for the same question, ”Hi, What are you doing rite nw?”, “Yea, I ve completed Engineering ”, Oh Gosh I hate tis answer…n then they ask, so “hmmm hw abt Job or higher studies ” n I say “Yeah I m placed n gonna work”, hmmm thank god relieved but wat the heck ud b the next question n it turns out to b the same , they ask me ”What’s next”, I do have an idea of giving tis answer, “Hmmm pls don bug me wit such questions, stay away”, still got to be a well mannered gal so ma answer ud be “Yea I tld u rite, hmmm I m gonna work” , n the question session s not over …”Yea after tat”, so I get the point …”NEXT,NEXT,NEXT” yea so the word means “MARRIAGE”, hmmm finally they want me to tel them tat next ud be “MARRIAGE”, Huh..I don understand the fact if relations are meant to be marriage brokers at times…n tis is the reason I hate going to marriages…I wish I remain Invisible in such places or may be a time machine cud help me to get back to the past or may b relations cud suffer a short time memory loss at such instance n dey frget abt the word “Marriage”..I jus wanna knw one thing y 90% of d gals r always treated like a machine where they do bear an agenda the whole life,” 5-17years meant to be school life, 18-21 (namesake for a degree just to end up in a literate groom), n then no break direct landing to Marriage life…What do they even knw? Elders pl do give them a break….The reason for havin ended up in tis topic is tat yesterday I went to a marriage of ma friend, “I stress on tat word, coz she’s of ma age”, We weren’t too close yet a hi and bye meant a lot.. she’s ma aunt’s colleague’s daughter…We used to greet each other wit a wide concave curve on our faces n tis lasted until I came to knw tat she’s goin to get married…I mean I didn’t get a chance to meet her for a long while n I met her yesterday as a married woman, She looked at me as though I was a kid n I did love it n I looked at her as a grown up, may b the word “aunty “ ud suit…nt by looks it’s only by her status “MARRIED”…I really felt weird coz I jus had a feeling if I had to wish her for her 8th semester results that were out yesterday morning or If I had to wish her for her marriage wit an artificial concave curve that ud turn out convex at any moment…”Happy Married Life” n she gives me tis dialogue really weird, “Thank you” wit a sad face as though I gave her a gift tat she hated the most”, tis is weird coz it’s really a short one. I expected lot more…huh Am I dreamin or something? She’s been a great frnd who used to be a lot more bubbly whenever I meet her , her talks used to make me fly n now once she has attained the status “Married”, she jus says “Thank u”, hmm okie may b I m still a kid who bears a status “Unmarried” n tis s really a cool one better than the previous one…okie so I m lost in tis blog n I am really not into the topic n I ‘ll never until ppl realize tat gals r not meant to be machines n they r humans….they do have their own wishes n they ud want to do a lot more for themselves, family n society. Pl do not crush their wishes n treat them lik empty hearted humans…..Guys who read tis a kind favour pl, “Neva attempt to marry a gal who s too too young, give them a break…b a bit outta the box n try not to crush their feelings, understand them, they need to face a lot more challenges in the outside world”, tis blog is dedicated to all ma frens who ve really gone through a tough time sayin “Yes “ to instant marriages. I really knw tat I ve scribbled something here but I do knw tat those who read tis blog ud be able to understand the actual hidden feelin of a gal….the delicate wishes tat she has in her heart…..somethin like “Mom n dad, here’s ma first month salary, I ve got you a gold jewellery mum n dad I hve gt u a wonderful watch” n the parents in turn hug their daughter (irrespective of the gifts, tat was jus an example) havin the same feelin wen they had 20 years back while holding the wonderful tiny life in their hands……seein the most beautiful smile, tiny hands n legs , they literally drive themselves 20 years back..tat sort of a feelin is to be treasured, the tears r to b treasured…these r some of the few stuffs gals ud wanna feel..wen ud they even learn to face the world, face the humiliations ..understand the ppl around them…prove their capability…show their care to the society..b a part of good deeds happenin in the world….satisfyin their own wishes, likes right from chocolates to dresses, any silly wish on the earth..wen ud all these b fulfilled unless they stand in their own legs..supportin their parents n wat els ud b the most happiest moment other than tis…….Tis is all possible wen the gal is allowed to take decisions on her own n lead a life as she wishes..n stay outta d box…breakin the fear that prevails around her….n Tellin “YES” or “NO” what ever her heart feels n not forced to react by her surroundings…Jus like the funny oxymoron clearly misunderstood, exact estimate, small crowd, act natural, found missing, fully empty here comes the best part of it “HAPPILY MARRIED” (this is meant only for early marriages)… So gals do take wise decisions before you step into the next phase of life….