My First Post !!!!

FAILURE Vs SUCCESS
I never thought that I would pen down such a lot. But there is a pattern that is followed here in this post. It could be FAILURE Vs SUCCESS. This is a mixed form of my life’s tough, thrilling, memorable, sweet and fantabulous moments. I really don’t know if this ud b interesting to read but I just wanted to share these moments with ma frens. Am sure everyone of you ud ve come across such tough situations atleast once. If not letz pray that it should not happen. So here it goes……
I kept on wondering if I could spill out few words here. But I promise you friends that I would try to make this blog very simple. Simple in all possible aspects: simple words and delicate thoughts only. I have been thinking for a while and finally am here to share few of my life’s tough times which were memorable too, here it goes. That was the time when I used to enjoy life the way I want especially life’s short and sweet moments. Wanna know yeah as u think it is movies, friends, books, games, music, culturalz, contests, bunking classes, evening snack, tea time break, rain, treats, travels, birthday partyz, dresses, shopping, cosmetics, accessories, birthday gifts, scooty ridez, writing, glass painting,(list goes on). As the days went on, one fine day I could see ma classmates rushing up for placement classes in private centres, ma frndz started carrying huge huge reasoning and aptitude books to college and started solving them. Uh!!! Seriousness prevailed in everyone around me. Gosh finally I realized, that it was the time for PLACEMENTS. “INFOSYS” was a dream company for many of them in our college or else we ought to consider “INFOSYS” as our dream company, in other words it was a no other go company coz to our wonderful college only this company has signed an MOU to recruit students every year. It means that all the 600 ought to fight for 60 positions and that is their first and last chance too. Competitive spirit started to trigger in everyone and the word “Desultory” was completely off and everyone started to work with an aim. So I don’t get a point, do all the 600 need to undergo such a ridiculous journey for just placing themselves in 60 positions. Ok but I thought I was different, I always had a negative option about joining INFOSYS may be since I was in ECE and I don’t need a software concern or may be because I am a kinda gal who wanna enjoy life and may be I did not wanna sit before computer all the time. It could also be this way, I am too dependent on my mother and I could not leave her for a period of seven months and then settle in INFOSYS. I really do not know which of these created a thought of quitting INFOSYS and so I felt for namesake I ‘ll attend the company and I thought I will not take it seriously. I had discussed it with mom earlier and she too supported me a lot in my opinion. One difference between me and my mom is I am not influenced by other’s decision, I prefer to take my own decision but ma mom is just the opposite. She is easily influenced by people around her and their ideas mean her a lot. So that was the day I told my mom , “Amma INFOSYS collegeku varuthunu sonna, yenala softwarela survive panna mudiyathu ma so naan chumma attend pannalamnu iruken aana test la underperform pannidalamnu iruken ma, atleast antha chance mathavaluku pogumono” Ma mom initially was fine with my decision until a phone call came from my relation, “Sneha inga vaa, unga college ku urupadiya varathe antha company mattum than athaiyum vitutu nee yenna seiya pora, ozhunga intha company attend pani place aagura vazhiya paaru”, Argument went on for hours without conclusion from ma mom’s side as usual. Just to stop the fight I told her few lines” hmmm seri vendam test nanna panren selectum aayiduven aana athukapram vera core company vanthuthuna naan attend panikaren, pothuma Cha”. Ma mom waited for me to utter these words and then she pacified me. A long advice went on for hours and hours. I really don know why I ma ears weren’t ready to hear advices. After the long poem uttered by my mom, I finally agreed to join INFOSYS. Yeah I became a pakka nerd from the next day. I carried huge books to college for solving problems. I tried to collect a lot of INFOSYS question papers and started working day and night right from December 1. Huh I sacrificed ma short and sweet moments canteen chats, tea, snacks, walk, movies, books, phone calls everything possible. I think I would ve solved the maximum problems in my lifetime in a single month. After solving a lot of questions I thought I had the capability to even set the question paper. Huh!!! The day was not too far December 30 seemed to be very close. I forced my heart and mind to have a positive feeling towards INFOSYS. I developed the feeling by visiting the training campus in Mysore and I literally fell for it the first time I saw it. So then INFOSYS became my dream company too. I started to collect details of my seniors working in INFOSYS and I requested them to mail me the possible question papers. But finally I found that those papers were already solved by me and my friends. Dreams! Dreams! Dreams! I was in a total dream world. Waited for a wonderful New Year ahead and I started to plan ma appointments for New Year day. I jotted down the list and it included new dress, sweets, photos, greeting cards and I had even planned to recharge for 300 Rs to inform ma friends and relations that I am placed in INFOSYS. There were only two days ahead for attending our first company. Ma mom is such a sweet person that she had bought me new dresses to wear on that day. The dress was a green colour chudi mixed with white. She believes astrology and that particular week it was predicted that ma luckiest colour was green. I was very happy but then I asked her why she was spending too much. She had also bought matching earrings, bracelet, chain and ring. I said I was happy with the colour. I did not know why she took pains in buyin another purple colour chudi mixed with white. She said the latter would be too majestic for the interview. We had confusion in choosing the dress colour. Then I finally thought I’ll decide it later. I started to edit ma resume very early and then I started insisting ma friends too to complete their resume work first. Certificates were all arranged before hand and then it was December 29. I started to surf the net about the company profile, took print outs of ma resume. Learnt everythin pakka, Prepared to the possible extent. Confidence prevailed in me, may be over confidence too. Tat s coz of the hard work I had put in for the past 30 days. I hardly slept during these days. Okie here comes the finale of the most awaited day. Next day I got up too early say 4 and then took bath, neatly dressed for the interview, had my breakfast, took out my resume. Hey I forgot to include a small info, one day I spent in shopping just for a resume and got it for 150 bucks (konjam over but perfection irukanumla tat’s y).Okie I was finally ready my mom handed over me sloga books, sai baba photo, lucky number pics and gave me kumkum n vibuthi (film la paatha maathirye iruku la).Then got her blessings, left home and in bus I was excited to the possible. I am a hyper active gal and it cud be ma both positive and negative trait. Say for example I will be excited if my friend says ‘How sweet of u”. With lots of excitement I travelled in the bus, lotza dreams in ma mind, bright face and I thought it would be my big great day. Reached the auditorium, I could find lot of my friends in an excited state already. I was seated in the last and had doubts if test will be conducted there or not. I had doubts if ma paper will be corrected or not since I was seated at last. Huh there is no end to my imagination ever. We were taken in order to enter classrooms for aptitude test. I entered my classroom. I was ready to take up my test. I was seated in the fourth row because I had read in internet that the far you sit the more time you get to complete the test. I went in with hundred percent planning and then I got the paper. I took up my test before that I was supposed to fill up a form. Then I wrote ma aptitude test very well, I was very happy n excited and waited for my verbal paper. I could find not find any discrepancy while solving it and I did it with so much confidence and consistence. Finally I completed my test and then waited outside for results. I called up ma mom n told her that I had performed very well and was confident of getting into it. We waited so long for results and then we had our placement officer with results. The pattern of the results seemed to be too weird because they announced it in installment. In an hour ten ppl were called for HR interview. The first ten were called out and to be frank I expected my name to be in top ten. I waited waited counted 1, 2, 3….8, 9, 10 and it was over. Ma name was not there in the top ten. Shit how the hell I even missed it. I lost the hope initially after the ten names were announced. Waited for the next set to barge in, 2nd, 3rd. Ma name was not there and I was literally in a tensed state. 4th, 5th again over and yet ma name never ended up. Still I had hope and was waiting for the last set, started to pray, called up mom , messaged ma frens, asked them to pray and then the final set 6th one arrived. Uh!!! Finally I was relieved, Oh god don’t assume that ma name was there I said that I was relieved of the suspense tat’s it. MY NAME WAS NOT THERE IN THE LAST SET TOO. SO IT LITERALLY MEANT THAT “SNEHA IS NOT THROUGH THE APTITUDE ROUND” all the sets were over. Local slangla sollanumna “GOVINDA GOVINDA”. Each consisted of ten names 70 students were already in. They said that is all and the list is over. Tear gland was in action and it rushed up to ma eyes. But then the girly feeling “Its ok, not a big deal pl don cry eyeliner n kajal wil b out of the eyes and it may look weird” prevailed inside just for the sake of controlling ma tears before everyone. I had voices from behind “ How come you did’nt get through de” but I left unanswered. Tears were ready to reach ma cheeks they worked hard more than I worked for Infosys. But poor them I did nt want them to be upset like me. So I made my tears clear their first round the tears finally reached my cheeks when I reached my bus. But I had this weird feeling in me it’s like before I reach the main gate somebody ud cal me and temme “Hey sneha it seems u r selected for HR round de, they missed ur name while reading it so come soon”, ha ha ha wat a strange thought but it was after all an imagination. I was in bus and I had biscuits that I had brought from home for the purpose of compensating ma dinner if I were into HR round. Tears faced their continuous victory they reached ma cheeks for the possible number of times. Called up mom and informed her. She was upset inside but how lucky I am to get such a great mom, she told me, “Sneha you deserve something better, tat s ok don worry come home safe”. Again tears started to flow down and then finally reached home. I acted as though nothing happened and tried to be too cool which worked out only for a while. Slept on the bed and messaged ma frens who were into the HR interview “ALL THE BEST”. I tried to control ma tears still they were flowing out and then finally had a tiresome sleep. This was ma tough time in ma life ever but they were memorable too.I never shed a tear after that day for losing in INFOSYS. Two months passed by I pretended to be cool outside but I felt the real pain inside. I took an oath that I would work hard to the possible extent and achieve what I wanted, that I deserved. Everything turned out to be different, strange and then came this FEB 23 and 24, 2010. I had achieved what I wanted after a long struggle. Lemme start with the success part of my life. Okie here it goes..I was then surfing in the net for the next two months searching for jobs, registered at naukri, monster, and many more. Huh!!! It was really a tough time coz 2010 freshers were not elgible for any such job initially. Then the day had come, when I was into the annauniv website for a long time. I came to know about the placement conducted by annauniv at various zones. So in Coimbatore zone Accenture company participated and the date was scheduled on Feb 23 and Feb 24. So before a week I started all my preparations right from getting attestation and bonafide certificates. I was totally ready to face the battle. I downloaded a lot of question papers started working them out and I did not get into a very serious preparation coz I had a fear if it would end up in a failure like Infosys. So the day had come, ma mom and aunt accompanied me to Ramakrishna college. We went in a cab and students who were waiting outside assumed ma mom and aunt to be HR and then when I got down from the cab with my resume they were relieved. So as I entered the college I could see a lot of students preparing with the papers. This placement was conducted to students having more than 80% and to my surprise there were 1500 students above 80% and without a job. So here 1500 got to fight for less than 10% of the positions. I was thoroughly mad but never worried about it and I was just seated with my bag. I met my college mates and started to chat with them. It was time for aptitude test. So we were asked to move to the auditorium. I had my own imaginations since I had accurate 80.14% I had a doubt if any problem would come up. Thankfully nothing ended up because even 80.01 were considered eligible. Thank god I had somehow managed to score above 80% in my semesters. Then we were led to the auditorium after submitting our passport size photo, demand draft and bonafide certificate. We had to wait for hours till the whole auditorium was filled up. Finally we were taken to our aptitude test. I wasn’t tensed to solve problems, in fact I love it. But I had the bad luck that followed me in crucial situations and that was the only thing I was scared about. I filled up the form that was given and then the test began: 60 questions to be solved in 55 minutes with an essay in additional. I started solving and I was pretty confident about the answers and then the esaay topic was college life that is to be completed within five minutes. This time I was seated in the first bench apart from my superstitions of being seated at the last. They got ma paper back and we were supposed to be back to the audi in an hour for results. I could not eat anything, my body went through a tough time. I could’n drink water either, I think it’s all because of the tension that prevailed in me. I was reminded only about the INFOSYS test that hit back my mind again and again. Finally we were led to the RESULTS (pera keta udane chumma athiruthula). The chair person had a very long list but he really had a pattern to read them I suppose. He went from one page to another, returned to the same page again, switched to the last page then. God, he started to read them, 1,2,3,……..50,51……100……150….200…..250…..270….280….295..297 These many names were over and what could somebody think of at that moment if their name was not there. Yes I do thought the same, “Ok so our name is not there hmmm which bus are we supposed to catch, what plans next”, everything started running inside ma mind. There came the miracle in my life, 297 names were over and then 298 “Saraswathi Sneha”, I was in a literal shock. Oh my God am through ma aptitude round. Yahoooooo!!! I waited for this moment which finally ended up. When enquired they said that the names were announced in the order of the classes in which we were seated and it seems our class was the last one. I was in a shocked state and then the second round was Group discussion. I was seated in a classroom. Waited for an hour and then we had our Group Discussion, we spoke about the topic Women Status in India. That was really an interesting topic and the ma’m evaluated our marks. She sent the co-ordinator to announce the results. He came in and chose 6 out of 12. But I was not in that 6. God I was in some state of shock and then I packed my bags to leave. I could’n imagine myself losing in GD round because I was absolutely confident about my English. I felt I was better compared to the others in our group. Within a spark of a minute, another co-ordinator plunged in and called out the other 6 names and I was in that and it meant that all the 12 of us were through the GD round. Ma God this tension never leaves me, every second it follows and gives me an heart ache. It was like a storm after a Tsunami. I got through GD round too. Next I was supposed to enter HR round followed by technical round. It was 8.00 PM and we almost completed filling up our forms. Ma frenz left the place since they were from hostel and they had planned to take up both the rounds the next day. I had the confidence to face the HR round the same day. I waited till 8.30 PM. I was led to a panel. The same ma’m whom I met in GD was my HR. She was very cool and she asked me few questions about movies, actor surya, nayanthara, she asked me to explain Aadhavan story, then she asked to me to define myself in one word. We had a conversation for 10 mins and I waited outside for ma result. The co-ordinator told me “Sorry YOU ARE SELECTED“. I was hanging in the word sorry for a long time but then I realized the latter part of the line and I was totally relieved that I was selected. Huh! Why the hell does he have to play with those lines, why did the word SORRY come for no reason. I have been noticing him and he has been playing with everyone like this, his famous lines were “Sorry you are selected”, “Unfortunately you are through the next round”, Oh god what a stupid response was that. Anyways I was really excited that I was through the HR round and I had this kinda feeling “Habba yepdiyo moonu round mudinchuthu, 4th round mattum clear pannita, lifela yepdiyavathu settle aayidalam” . I took a lift from ma friend’s dad and we three were riding in a scooty pep. I was really thankful to both coz they were also really scared for riding in triples tat too at 9 PM. Anyways I then took a bus till ma house and I had a wonderful time on the way coz I called up every friend of mine and I told them that I cleared 3 rounds and that I am left with one technical round the next day. I reached home and mom was too happy but then, only technical round was running in ma mind and I got few C,C++ books from ma friend that night. I kept alarm the next day at morning 3.45 and I started to prepare for the technical questions. I really feared a lot because the technical round would be fully regarding the C,C++,JAVA,OOPS,DOT NET concepts. I knew only the names of these languages and nothing else. I had quite a good knowledge in C but still it is really difficult to brush up the C concepts in a day. I prepared few topics on ma technical subjects too and I ma mind was completely blank that morning. I surfed through the company’s profile. I went in Ramakrishna college bus and I was in a complete tensed state. I reached the college and I was supposed to be seated in a seminar hall. I waited so long and that really meant 5-6 hours. Oh God!!! Nothing came to ma mind that moment except the sloga taught by ma mom, “Om Veerath vajaya vithmagee, Vignahasthaya Deemagee, Thanno Bowma Prasodhaya”, I would ve chanted this mantra more than 500 times and tat’s y I think I remained calm for few hours. This mantra was very powerful it seems, according to ma mom’s view in my Jaathagam the Guru was standing with a huge piece of luck in its plate, but the Sani was continuously letting the plate down it seems. So If I chant this mantra the sani will forget its existence for a minute and the fate will push the Guru with the plate full of luck to ma hands. Hmmm that moment I never worried about Guru or Sani but only about the C language.I could see people surrounded with huge huge gunda type of books C, C++,JAVA, DOT NET. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! What the hell, I lost ma patience I never touched ma book , All I wanted at the particular moment is just the technical round and that’s it. I was ready to face both the extremes Success or Failure, I never minded. All I wanted is just peace. I could not get tensed like that for after all a job. But then the “After all job” meant a lot in my life. Huh!!! Okie then I was finally called for the technical round. I went upstairs and again I was supposed to wait wait wait. Students were led to 10 panels totally five meant to be HR and five meant technical. I heard some rumours regarding the panels and it seems in a certain panel all the students were rejected. Hmmm the sani now played a game on me I was exactly led to that particular panel. After every student completes his/her technical round the coordinator will tel them one of these two sentences, “Sorry you are rejected”, “Come back to the seminar hall at 3 o clock”. So the latter meant that they ve cleared the round and that they were accenturites from then. I was waiting in front of the rejection panel and I could see a lot of students come out from that panel with a sad face and it meant that no one got through that particular panel. I had few mins left before the interview took place. So I thought I could play a game on Sani , so I started to chant those mantra’s very efficiently. To my surprise I was led to other panel by the co-ordinator that was considered as a selection panel. The HR in the rejection panel required lunch to reject the forthcoming candidates. Thankfully I was not in his panel and that brought me some confidence. Still I had a last bit of tension and finally I was led to the technical interview. I went in and wished ma HR, he was a north Indian I suppose or may be a foreigner too, he spoke in tat slang only. He was a very cool person and I had the confidence to clear that particular round the moment I saw him as I entered. He asked me to tell few words about myself and I took it as an advantage and spoke about myself for 10 mins. I guess he was impressed and he put forward few questions from ma resume. I answered it really well I guess and then he asked me if I am interested in working at foreign. I was in a state of shock, a happier one this time and I confirmed that I am through that round. I told him that I was not interested in foreign. Oh my God I shouldn’t have been this frank I guess, but I think that impressed him a lot. Hmmm then the interview went on for few mins, I never had a single technical question in that round and then the HR finally ended “ I had a great time with you, Thank you”. I was happy for having completed that round successfully and then I waited out for the result. The co-ordinator told me, “You ve cleared this round, Wait in the seminar hall at 3”, I was in the peak of excitement. But still I waited for the official announcement of the results. Anytime, Sani might ruin ma excitement. So I started chanting the mantras. I was relieved of tension finally. I was in a completely excited state. Still I feared about the official announcement of the results. Ma friends started calling up their parents confidently but I still waited for the final announcement. I waited for hours and at sharp 8.00 o clock the chair person came up with the results. They finally announced the names of the students who were placed in Accenture. I was one among them, that was the MOST MEMORALBLE MOMENT in ma life. The moment I was waiting for, the moment that gave me fame, the moment that took me to the peak of excitement and happiness, the moment that drew a pathway for ma future, the moment that answered ma mom’s prayers, the moment that took to me to endless tears, the moment that answered all ma obstacles, the moment that thrashed all the humiliations, the moment that led me to path of victory, the moment that made me realize what I am ,the real moment that brought me into existence, the moment that brought SNEHA back to life, the moment that meant everything in ma life, the moment that became ma life. While I am typing this I am able to feel the moment right now. Tears crawl down ma cheeks, they meant something genuine. Finally I achieved what I wanted, that I deserved and I don’t think that I would have such beautiful moment in ma lifetime in future. I can never forget this in ma life and now I am out of words to write. So lemme end this post here, I dono if it was interesting or not, but I really thank you all for having read this very patiently. So finally FAILURE Vs SUCCESS ends here.